Plastic Dave

...and while we're on the topic of fake, don't trust Plastic Dave.

Don't trust anyone who promises a great health service but would never use it himself.

Don't trust anyone who claims parents can parent well with no money but has never had to struggle in his life.

Don't ever trust anyone who doesn't know the meaning of poverty.

Don't trust Plastic Dave!

Drag queens and panto dames.

They're everywhere at the moment, walk down any street in the UK and you'll see loads of them. Tangoed faces, dyed hair with staightened artificial segments, layers of make up trowelled on. They're in the audience of any unreality TV show and the pages of newspapers.

The trouble is these drag queens and panto dames are female.

Is there a national calendar shortage?

It is November. NOT CHRISTMAS! Look in your calendars. yes the terrible truth lurks there.

You have another month of stuffing yourselves silly. That's before it even begins. I know it's official in the gospel according to St Tesco that thou shalt start wishing everyone a Merry Christmas as soon as thou has sold the last easter egg. Got to have something to keep the plebs scoffing junk.

Before December, I don't want to hear it.

There's no such thing as a baby name.

There should be books published called "30 year old names" or "person-who-will-be-choosing-your-retirement-home names"

When you name your child, please remember, he/she will not always be a baby, you want him/her to grow up (presumably), find a job, a partner. With a name like Sonny? Princess? Fifi? Chanel? If these are names you are considering, bear in mind you may have a very miserable old age.

Get used to boiled cabbage! And the worst culprits in the boiled cabbage stakes? Jamie Oliver and "feed the world" Bob Geldof.

Does my bum look big in this....parking space?

You know who you are, those of you who think that you're not properly parked unless your tyres are touching the kerb. Well here's some news, you're a pain!

Either you're like a big daft dog that keeps trying to put his nose through the window, because he doesn't realise that it extends beyond his eyes, or you're completely unaware that footpaths are not there as a parking aid. They're for pedestrians, pushchair and wheelchair users. Except now we have to risk our lives on the road because some of you have enormous rear ends and noses.

Just think will you!

Not been here for a while. Just too tired.

It's like this, I get up on a day off, eat breakfast while trying to keep my eyes open and my head up. Within 2 hours I'm just too exhausted to stay awake any longer..

I then doze for a few hours, get up at about midday and sleep again.Get up at about 5 and eat before going online for a couple of hours then by early evening I'm exhausted again.

Work days are agony, and yes folks, I do doze in my chair at lunch and when you're having your lunch breaks.

At night I sleep but never deeply. I wake every half hour or so, and yes even if I haven't slept during the day. At the moment I'm awaiting some more tests but I'm sooooooo tiiiired!

Vicious keyboards and stuff.

I'm back. Battling with the obnoxious wireless keyboard. I swear that it hates me. I have to either type slowly and/or go back over all that I write and add in the letters that it missed out. Before anyone says that it's just bad typing, I don't have this problem at work.

Well today is Sunday. Chat on the Alphaville forum tonight. I like Sundays. Especially ones when I don't have to work tomorrow. I can stay up late. Late for me is 11pm.

For years I've battled with tiredness.I don't know what the cause is, I spend a lot of time begging doctors for help. So far I've been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which I have doubts about. I know a few people with CFS from online support groups and the diagnosis doesn't seem right. I can't remember when this started, I have been half asleep for most ofmy life. I have another appointment in May so I'm pinning lots of hopes on that. Otherwise the consensus from Drs so far is, here's a diagnosis - next! Not very helpful when an hour after getting up you're fast asleep again. How many years am I expected to put my life on hold?

This is not a cry for sympathy, mostly I wish the world would leave me alone and just let me sleep.

OK enough for now.